(not very good at short versions, so here's the long one)
A few months ago I was fortunate to have the opportunity to go to a conference that was geared towards helping 18-30 year olds ask the right questions to help them move in the right direction in their lives. It was, ultimately, a very interesting conference and introduced me to Tamoc, who is now one of my very best friends. But she is not the fuckwit. That would be Skylar.
Skylar and I met on the first day and actually, didn't really like each other upon initial inspection. I thought he was a chatty-know-it-all and he thought I was a superficial bubblehead. Great beginnings, neh? But becuase we live in polite society neither one of us expressed our feelings and ended up sitting at the same table as each other, being in the same group as each other, and along with some other friends, spending just about the entire day together. There were 6 of us at the time (Tamoc was one of them) and we ended up having a great time.
Throughout the day I started to like him a little more, but never really developed any warm-fuzzy feelings for him because he wore a particular piece of jewelry on his left hand. Pesky thing, that. But several hours and alcoholic beverages later he pretty much invited himself over to my room. I didn't say no - that was clearly my mistake. I think I tried to justify it saying that I didn't think he'd come over, but I honestly don't remember what I was thinking. Perhaps that it'd been far too long since a guy showed interest in me.
He did end up coming over, but there were several problems. His intentions were *clear* but I couldn't stop thinking. First problem is - he's married, which actually, he brought up and told me how he was actually separated even though he still loved her, blah blah blah. Second of which was - I was (and still am) a virgin. A fact which I grow more weary of every day. He proceeded to tell me how lonely he was and all those great things that it was expected I wanted to hear, but I just wasn't into it. He clearly sensed this and my virgin status came out which put brakes on the whole evening. Which ended up being very good.
So, we spent pretty much the rest of the week talking, sharing emotions with each other, which really was nice. (Turns out he's already having an affair). I care about him a lot and I want him to have someone to talk to when he needs it. But (as mentioned above) every time I talk with him now, he mentions the size of his penis. I don't want to sleep with him anymore, and hope like hell that he doesn't expect something the next time I see him.
I don't think I'm looking for a solution because, hell, if I want him to stop, I need to just tell him. But I am kind of afraid that I'll lose him as a friend, but being that we only talk about once every 2 months, I suppose it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But I think sometimes it helps to have other people push you in the direction you know you're supposed to go.